Seduction: 7. Close Phase

CLOSE PHASE

1. Taking the Lead

2. Contact Closing

3. Kiss Closing

4. Meet Closing

5. Sex Closing

6. Ejecting

The term “closing” comes from sales, where it’s used to describe making the final sale of the good or service to the client. In pick-up and seduction it describes getting what you want from the woman, be it a number, a kiss, a meeting, or sex.

When attempting a close of any kind, the most important thing to do is RELAX! When you realize that you don't have to close all the time, then it takes the pressure off and you become much more relaxed. Paradoxically, this almost always leads to your closing far more often than you ever imagined possible!

The key is to KEEP GOING AND CONTINUE TO THE NEXT STEP ALWAYS. If your conversation is going well, do a contact close. If you're out for a walk and the conversation seems to be going well, do a kiss close. If you're at your house watching a movie and you start kissing, take her hand and lead her to your bedroom for a sex close. Keep advancing! Women like this and expect it. If they're not comfortable, they'll tell you about it. But don't worry. Just keep going, and advance again at next opportunity.

There’s one thing about closing that you MUST keep in mind. If someone won’t give you what you want, no amount of begging, pleading, arguing, guilt-tripping, or logical arguing is going to make them give it to you. You need to focus on changing her MOOD rather than her MIND. If she’s reluctant to give you her number, get her laughing, develop some rapport with her, then attempt another contact close. If she’s not ready to have sex with you, then rev her up with teasing and anticipation and try again later.

1. Taking the Lead

Sometimes you may have a woman all wound up to the point where she actually volunteers her number to you. Sometimes she’ll invite you out somewhere, and occasionally she’ll kiss you without any prompting on your part. RARELY she’ll be the one to initiate sex with you. But the reality is that most women are PASSIVE and YOU, as the man, have to take the lead. YOU have to be the one to approach, to get the number, to arrange the meeting, and to make the move to kiss her or bed her. That’s just the way it is. It’s in most women’s natures to be submissive, and they want a dominant male to LEAD them through all these steps.

If you find yourself complaining that women should be the ones to approach you, to ask for your number, to jump on you and kiss you, or to start grabbing your crotch to get sex, GET OVER IT. This is the way it is in our society, and in fact in most of the animal kingdom. You’re going to HAVE to stick your neck out and risk being rejected, and you’ll just have to deal with that reality. Just like you won’t meet many women unless you go out and TRY to meet them, you won’t get a kiss or a sexual encounter with a woman unless you make an attempt to get it.

The good news is that once you’ve passed any of these steps with women, they tend to open up and initiate it a lot more themselves. They’ll come up and kiss YOU, or drop to their knees while you’re watching TV and do wicked things to you. They just want YOU to be the one to initiate these things the first time.

One important corollary of the man being forced to take the lead is to EXPECT RESISTANCE. At every step, even if a woman really likes you, she’ll put up resistance. No girl likes to feel like she’s “easy”, and no matter how much she wants to give you her number, kiss you, or have sex with you she’ll throw up some barrier or objection to convince herself that she at least TRIED to resist you. This resistance is known as the ASD, or anti-slut defenses.

2. Contact Closing

Contact close involves getting a woman’s contact information from her. This means either her e-mail address, her home phone number, her work phone number, her wireless phone number, or any combination thereof. Whichever of these is best is open to debate, and depends really on your preferences and on the woman.

If she’s always at work then the work number would be a surer way to reach her, but she may be too busy to talk. This can work in your favor actually, because you can talk to her just long enough to schedule a meet and then get off the phone. But if you have good phone gaming skills and want to keep her on the phone for a while, this is bad.

If she’s a heavy social type and always out of the house the wireless phone would be the best bet to reach her. The downside to this is that the sound on them is usually horrible, she’ll be either out with friends or driving when she answers, and probably very distracted. Again, bad for phone game.

E-mail is generally safe in that it’s less intrusive and a woman will give it up more easily. With a phone she doesn’t have much choice; it rings, she answers, and she’s put on the spot talking to you right then and there. But if you send her an e-mail, she can answer it at her leisure, or block you from contacting her if she decides she doesn’t really like you.

Closing Fluff

You can set up a contact close by using fluff talk which leads to it. Here are two examples:

(She’s telling you something) “I have to go now, but tell me all about it some other time! While I'm massaging your shoulders for example!” (rub one shoulder and give her a preview) “Give me your number so we can continue this later.”

(Look down at your watch) "Okay, I talked to you for two minutes, AND I let you shake my hand...That'll be twenty dollars, tip not included". (response) I really have to get going, I’ll collect my money the next time we see each other.” (start to walk away) “HEY! Do you have email?” (segue into contact close)

Getting her contact info

Remember the rule, “Never ASK a woman for anything”. Don’t say “Can I have your number?” Instead say “What’s your number?” or use soft commands like “Give me your number.” Don’t be worried about looking pushy or forward, since if a woman wants to give you her number, she’ll give it to you either way. It just sets the whole dynamic up better if you don’t “ask” for it. 

Below is a pretty easy and proven way to get contact info:

"Well, it was nice meeting you. I'm going to get back to my friends/whatever." Then, just as you’re turning to walk away, and you kind of disconnect, turn back and say "HEY! Do you have email?" If she says "yes," take out a pen and paper and say "Great, write it down for me" and have her write it down. Then AS SHE'S IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING, say "Put your number down there too." (this works more than just going for her number outright, as she’s already in “yes” mode while giving you the e-mail). As she's writing down her phone number say "Is this a number that you actually answer?" If she looks at you and hesitates, or says that it's her "voicemail or pager number," then say "Look, write your REAL number down. It's going to be OK, I'll only call you nine times a day."  If the answer to the email question is "No, I don't have email" then bust on her and say "Well, do you have ELECTRICITY?" Then say "Well, OK then…I like email better, but just give me your number. It's so damn hard to reach people on the phone these days."

Here are some C&F ways to contact close:

"Let's do xxx together. I'll call you" (But you don't have my number) "Oh that's right!" (pull out a pen)

“You know what? I think I’ll make you my new girlfriend.” (Uh... what?) “Yeah, I just decided that you’d make a nice girlfriend for me.” (blah blah) “Ok, tell you what... I will make you my FAVORITE girlfriend. Give me your number.” (if she won’t give it) “How can you be my favorite girlfriend if I don't even have your number?”

(If she accused you of trying to pick her up earlier) “Ok, now I’m OFFICIALLY picking you up. What’s your number?”

"Well... now that we've set up a meeting, there's a question you need to ask me." (What?) "Oh come on!" (What's your number?) "See I knew you'd catch on! Let's exchange numbers."

"You can't leave...You haven't given me your phone number yet!"

(If things have gone really well) "So are you gonna give me your phone number, or do I have to stalk you?"

Pull out your cellular phone, and start looking it over curiously. “I wonder how this strange device can help us continue our conversation later. SURELY there must be a way…If only we could unlock its mysteries…”

Group number-close: The ultimate way to number close two or three or more women that are all beautiful and interesting is to say "You know, you guys are EQUALLY DORKY, so instead of just rejecting all of you, I'll let you all give me your numbers, and maybe we can hang out sometime...And I can teach you how to be cool like me"

Post-Contact Close Concerns

If you suspect that she might have given you a fake number, when she gives it to you fluff-talk for about a minute or so. Then say “Okay I gotta go” and look at the number. Then say “Tell me your number again? Just to see if I’m reading it right” If what she gives you doesn’t match, it was bullshit! Call her on it, or even better, crumple it up and flick it at her, saying “Never mind, I don’t want it.” Which is true, since you’re dealing with a flake anyway.

If she treats it like giving you her number was a big deal, you can say C&F “Wow, I'm HONOURED to have been given your sacred trust...Your phone number is a sacred thing. I feel like someone has just given me their virginity.”

Lastly, when you do the contact close, don't just trade numbers. Accompany it with a humorous "But when I call you, I don't want you to answer "Huh? Who? Ah… its you… uh… so… howzit going…" I want you to act really enthusiastic and happy, like "Oh, you called! God I'm so glad!!", ok? Is that a deal?" Additionally you can end the phone call in the same manner: "So when we meet, I want you to smile, give me a big warm friendly hug and take my hand. Deal?"

Contact Close Resistance

If she’s reluctant, or outright refuses to give you her number, you NEED to use C&F. You want to change her mood so that she relents. Here are some comebacks:

“Don’t worry! I’m only going to call you nine times a day. I’m not one of those CLINGY guys.”

“What? You give your number to the pizza guy when you order a pizza, right?” (Of course) “Great. Give me your phone number and we'll order pizza together.”

“Oh, C'mon! Lower you're standards a little. I did...” (Not the best line to use because it conveys lower social value, but a good last ditch effort)

Often a woman will ask for YOUR number instead. This is a brush-off because remember, women are PASSIVE and won’t call unless she’s really impressed by you (in which case she’d give you her number anyway, right?). Here are some rebuttals to “Why don’t you give me YOUR number?”:

Direct: “Don’t give me that crap, give me your number.”

“Look, I'm not that easy. Let’s EXCHANGE numbers."

(Give me YOUR number) “I know how you women are! You collect phone numbers and brag to your girlfriends about them and have little competitions and throw them away once you’ve had your ego boost.” (No, not me, protest) “Okay, then prove me wrong and write down your number”.

If she REALLY refuses to give out her number, proceed with one of the following:

“I'd still like to get to know you and I think you should get to know me before you pass judgment.”

“Well now that I’ve gone to this much trouble the least you could do is talk with me on the phone.”

Of course those two statements really set up a poor frame (that SHE’S the one giving YOU a chance), but they beat walking away with nothing. If this works to get her number, be sure to turn the frame around as soon as you can after you have the number.

If things have REALLY gone poorly and none of the above troubleshooters have worked, try this as a last-ditch effort:

"Just so it's not a total loss, do you have any cute and single friends who are available?"

For all you know, she may have an entire army of hot friends she could introduce you to. You could turn this “loss” into a huge potential gain! 

3. Kiss Closing

If you can read body language fairly well, you'll know when the girl is receptive or ready or even waiting for a kiss close. She'll let you touch her without resistance, touches you in return, wets her lips slightly and/or looks at your lips, especially when you are about to leave each other. But there are a number of situations, where things aren’t that clear, you're not sure if she is in the mood, or things have not been going too well etc. The dumbest thing to do here is to leave without actually finding out; this applies even if you did the contact close.

Of course, you have to pick your situations; for example you can't start asking for a kiss close in front of her friends or relatives (she might even be dying to kiss you, but she just can't do it in front of others—that’s why extracting her/isolating her from the others is so important) but you should always aim for the kiss close nevertheless.

The Request Kiss Close

Don't use a "Can I kiss you?" line – it’s indicative of supplicating tendencies and puts her too much on a pedestal from which it's easy for her to reject you. Instead, use the Mystery-style "Would you like to kiss me?" and go for the kiss if the response is anything but a blatant "NO!" Don't expect a "yes", you'll hardly ever get it. But the lack of an outright refusal (I don't know) usually means that she really would like to kiss you, but she's just processing the situation as kissing has both social and personal implications and she's not quite ready, or it's not a comfortable place for her to do it, etc. But never mind all that, say "Let's find out" and go for the kiss - she'll enjoy it! If the reply however is a "NO!", then do a Mystery-style follow-up: "Gee, you sure wrecked a moment, I bet your previous boyfriends must have really hated that about you..." It’s a good neg-hit to make her re-evaluate her position and usually you'll be able to proceed with her the next time you try (note the importance of persistence here!).

The Tickle Kiss Close

If she’s admitted she’s ticklish, start tickling her! Keep it up, and soon she’ll be laughing and saying Stop! Stop! At the peak, when she’s laughing and giggling and all full of good emotions, take her head in your hands gently and plant one on her lips. Start kissing her, and after about 10 seconds pull back and say "Do you still want me to STOP?" Don’t wait for her to answer, just go back to her lips and continue.

The Foreign Girls Challenge Kiss Close

After doing some fluff-talk with a girl and getting some rapport and light kino/touching going, ask her if she likes local or foreign guys better, because you prefer foreign girls over local girls (which doesn't have to be true). Then after her "But why?" you tell her it's because local girls don't know how to kiss properly. After a little bit of an argument, just grab her and say "So let's find out!" or "Prove it!" and move in for the kiss. 

The Bet Kiss Close

Tell the girl that you'll bet her a dollar (or a drink) that you can kiss her without using your lips or your tongue. Girls usually think/know that you're up to something, so sometimes it takes a little convincing to get them to take the bet. They'll take it about 1/3 of the time. If the girl is a good friend and she doesn't take the bet, say "Ok. Fine...Just check out this trick I learned...you can use it to make money off people," then play it off like your doing her a favor by showing her this. Then if she accepts the bet or you offer to show her "the trick" do this: Say: "Ready...Watch this!" Then move in like you are going to kiss her on the lips. Ok this is important. When you reach the point of no return you absolutely MUST lay the smoothest and I mean the smoothest kiss on her she has ever experienced. Then say "Damn you're a good kisser! I guess I owe you a buck!" If your kiss is smooth enough this will most definitely lead to more kissing and maybe even a child! (If you need a good C&F line here say "I don't think that kiss was worth more than 50 cents, you owe me another")

The 10-Scale Challenge Kiss Close

"On a scale of 1-10 how good of a kisser are you?" They'll usually say a ten (hot chicks want to sustain their value as a hot chick). Then kiss her. Why does this work? This works because you're challenging how good of a kisser she is. After it's done, say C&F "That was terrible! Let's do it again to see what you've REALLY got!"

The Hug Kiss Close

Best used at the end of a meeting/date, if you haven’t kissed yet. "Well, gimme a hug, because it's way too soon for a first kiss." Hug her, then say “Well now that we’ve successfully passed the hugging stage, we can kiss.”(kiss her!)

The Playful Kino Kiss Close

Playful slap kiss close: When you’re teasing each other and she makes a bratty comment, slap her leg just a LITTLE too hard. When she complains, go to “kiss it better”. Then look her in the eyes, smile and say “I hope I don’t have to slap your lips to get a REAL kiss”. Then kiss her.

The No Sex Kiss Close

If a woman hints at sex with you, or the topic of sex comes up: "I couldn't have sex with you just like that...I don't even know if you're a good kisser yet!" Then move in and kiss her.

The Eyes Closed Kiss Close

Ask her to rate her kissing skills on a scale of 1 to 10. When she asks you how good of a kisser YOU are, say “I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed. Watch.” Then move in to kiss her.

The Kiss Description Kiss Close

“You know what the perfect kiss is? It starts way before your lips meet--it's this little knot in the pit of your stomach. Then it flashes in your eyes, giving the signal for both of you to move in. And what’s more intense sometimes than the kiss itself, is that moment right BEFORE the kiss…When your lips are almost touching and you can feel the electricity…as if we’re kissing the air between us…”Move in very slowly as you’re saying this, timing it so that when you say “kissing the air between us” your lips really ARE just separated by a tiny space. Kiss her as soon as you’ve finished saying it.

Kiss close Statements of Intent (SOIs)

"You have the lips of a woman who knows how to kiss a man."

"You realize, of course, that you and I are gonna be kissing later". Say this with a dead serious look on your face.

"I want to get a movie and go to your house so that we can pretend to watch the movie while sexual tension builds until we start making out like animals in heat."

"I'm trying so hard not to kiss you right now".

She asks “Do you want to kiss me?” "Not as much as you want to kiss me." 

Dealing with Kiss Close Resistance

Most kiss close resistance will be caused by either:

1. YOU appearing unsure of yourself
2. The presence of friends (remember the ASD!)
3. Insufficient attraction and/or rapport built earlier in the encounter
4. She just flat-out finds you “unkissable” (not her type, your lips are all cracked, you’re sick and she doesn’t want to catch it, etc)

Obviously #4 you can’t really do anything about, but for #1-3, the solution is to take a step back and do what you were doing before, FIX whichever of the three blocked you, then attempt to kiss close again.

Don’t show anger or hurt at having your kiss close rejected. Smile and joke about it C&F: “Geez, you sure know how to spoil the mood, don’t you?”. Or say in a sarcastic yet charming way, "Why did you tease me if you didn't want to kiss me? You're a very bad girl for trying to play games with me. I'll bet you tease all the men you meet." This way you can always try again later, whereas if you’d reacted to it badly you probably would’ve blown all your chances for a future kiss close.

Two-set kiss close

YES, you can kiss-close a two set, if the girls are adventurous and/or bisexual.

“Which one of you is a better kisser?” If one says “ME!” take her up on it and kiss-close her right there. Then say “Well, that was good, but let’s see how she is”. Then you go and kiss-close her friend. It’s totally congruent with the conversation, so it’s the natural thing to do. “Yeah, that was good too, but I’m having trouble deciding. Let me see.” Then go back and kiss the original girl again, then the friend to compare. Point to the least hot one and say to the hottest one, “SHE’s the best kisser.” After this the hottest one will probably try to prove her value and pounce on you, kissing her very best. If things are going well, “She’s pretty good, kiss her and see”. If you’re with the right kind of women, they’ll kiss each other and you can say “See?” Bring up “Have you guys ever had a 3-way kiss?” then kiss one immediately after the other. At any point in this game if either of the girls acts weirded out or prudish, say you were just playing around and make fun of her for taking you seriously.

4. Meet Closing

Ok so you’ve done everything right and contact closed the woman (or even kiss closed her). Now you want to set up a meeting to see what she’s about, and possibly take things further.

There’s no rule that says you have to go home and call her to set up a meet close. You can do it immediately after you’ve met her, by saying C&F: “Do you think you could keep me interested enough for a cup of coffee?” and then taking her to the nearest coffee place.

Dating

Now most people would probably refer to this meeting as a DATE. Try as much as possible to avoid saying or using the word “date”, and to stay out of the dating frame. This is because “dating” puts two people in a special context. The typical “dating” relationship has the guy taking the girl out, paying for everything, doing nice things to win her approval, etc. until the woman decides if he’s worth sleeping with or not. You want to stay out of this frame and avoid it like the plague, because you set up that SHE is the prize and you’re after her. You want to approach the situation with YOU as the prize, or at least on an equal level as her.

“Dating” can also be quite expensive. By the time you’ve bought flowers to bring, got your car washed and gassed up, paid for dinner and wine at a nice restaurant, and taken her out dancing at a club and paid her cover and drinks, you’ve EASILY spent over $100. Or let’s say you want to take her on one of those “original” dates that dating experts recommend, like bungee jumping together or white water rafting excursions. These activities can cost upwards of 80$ per person (Canadian Dollars), which can get ridiculously expensive. Consider even a “simple” date like going to the movies. With movie ticket prices hovering around 10$, and the cost of goodies at the concession stand being so outrageous, you’re spending a good 40-50$ for a night out.

Now, if you’re out meeting several attractive women a week, and manage to set up a date with 2 or 3 of them, how long could you sustain this rate of spending? (As an aside, this is what men are complaining about when they say that having a girlfriend is expensive, or when asked why they don’t date more say, “I don’t have the money to do it”). And why would you want to spend all that money on people you don’t even know yet?

On a first date, why does a man take a woman out to dinner? Is it to evaluate her table manners and watch her chew her food? No, it’s to give her pleasurable feelings through good food and atmosphere, and have her link those feelings to HIM. Why does a man take a woman white water rafting? Is it to get her shirt wet so he can see her boobs? No, it’s to get her to have fun and excitement and link those feelings to HIM. And why does a man take a woman to a horrible “romantic comedy” at the movies? Is it so he can watch Julia Roberts trip over something a dozen times, and play hard-to-get for the whole movie and predictably give in at the end? Of course not, it’s to get the woman he’s with all emotional and happy so she’ll link those feelings to HIM. 

Let’s be honest here. Doing all of the above is MANIPULATION (though most women don’t tend to think of it as such, because they’re so used to it). And it’s pointless! When you’ve left the fancy restaurant, when you’re driving home from the rapids, or when you leave the movie house, it’s just going to be YOU. So instead of using EXTERNAL elements to influence how a woman feels about you, how about just demonstrating what YOU are all about? If you’re a fun and interesting person, then just sitting on a park bench and talking would be a lot of fun.

I’m not saying that you can’t take a woman to dinner or spend money on her. If you want to do that that’s fine, but only AFTER you’ve come to know her and see that she’s worth it. Remember, your frame is that YOU are the one evaluating her, to see if she’s up to your standards. Whenever you make an effort to try and prove something to her (i.e. qualify yourself to her), you reverse that frame and she’ll be the one in control. Women don’t want to have all the control in courting—it’s the man’s job to lead with a strong frame!

Gold-Digger Shutdowns

Beware of a woman who EXPECTS or DEMANDS that you take her out on expensive dates. Nothing gives her away as a GOLD-DIGGER faster! If you find a woman saying something like “You’re going to take me to (expensive restaurant) this Friday”, say “You know what? I don’t think this is gonna work out. I barely know you and you want me to spoil you, that doesn’t make any sense.” Really, even if you DO have a large amount of discretionary income, this is NOT the type of woman you want to get involved with.

If she talks about deserving it because she’s beautiful: “You’re in MY world now. Your looks don’t get you a free anything”.!!!!

If she talks about having expensive tastes: “If you have expensive tastes then you need a JOB, not a man”.

If she talks about being “high-maintenance”, deal with it using one of the responses to the high-maintenance shit-test in the Attract section.

Whatever the case, know the signs and avoid these leeching types—nothing good can come of them (except maybe an affair with her while she dates or marries a boring rich guy to satisfy her lust for cash!)

First Meeting Options

Ok, so we’ve established that it’s a bad idea to take women out on expensive sorties. So with that addressed, just what do you do on a first meeting? Here are some options:

1. Meeting for coffee or tea: This is probably the best option, because cafés are relatively quiet (no blaring music), private (there are corners, booths, etc), and in most places it’s self-serve so you don’t have a waiter interrupting you just when her buying temperature is getting “up there”. Cost: Under 8$
   
2. Meeting for drinks: You could meet her in a bar or lounge for a drink or two and some conversation. The pros of this are that with some alcohol in her she may be more playful and of course, horny. The down side is that she may be drunk when you arrive (she may have had several drinks bought for her by other guys before you got there). Also, the music is likely to be louder in these venues, and you’ll have a tougher time gaming her. The biggest drawback is that there’ll likely be AMOGs present, and you’ll have to go through the hassle of deflating their advances on your girl, or plow through them to get to her if she arrived at the venue before you. Cost: Under 10$ if you don’t stay long and each have one drink.
   
3. Meeting in the park: If it’s a nice day, you can meet her on a bench in the park, or even have a picnic together if there are any tables set up. Show up with some sandwiches, wine glasses, and a bottle of Lemon Perrier (public consumption of wine might get you a ticket). Cost: Under 10$
   
4. Bring her shopping: By this I don’t mean taking her out to buy her stuff. I mean saying “Hey, I’m going shopping for X tomorrow, you can come along and give me a female opinion”. Cost: Nothing over what you would’ve paid to buy X in the first place.
   

These are just some basic ideas. If you want any more you can check out “300 Creative Date Ideas for Under $20” by Michael Webb, available for download online. In any case, more ideas may be redundant because you should know by the 2^nd meet if she’s worth pursuing further or not.

When to Call

Once you have an idea of what you want to do, you’ll need to contact her to invite her to meet.

How long should you wait after you’ve met her before calling? Opinions differ on the mandatory waiting period but most say 2 to 4 days. This is because most people approach the question with the mindset of “How desperate am I going to look if I call after X days?” This is the WRONG way to look at it. If you didn’t come off as desperate or an ass-kisser when you met her, you won’t look like one when you call her, at ANY time.

In reality it depends on how much rapport you two built during your initial encounter. If you feel you built heavy rapport it means you can take longer, and light rapport means you’d better not wait too long. If you met her in a club environment, the flakiest environment known to man, you should call her as soon as the clubs close. This may seem counterintuitive, but she may barely remember you 2 days from then (especially if she’d been drinking) so do it. Call her wireless at closing time and try and get her to meet you at the 24-hour café downtown, the all-night diner, the after-hours club, a sleazy motel, whatever. (Just kidding on that last one).

However long you take, if she seems annoyed at how long you took, or that you didn’t call her when you said you would, say C&F: “(name), I’m a GUY. We NEVER call when we’re supposed to!”

A note on calling: Nowadays, with voicemail boxes, answering machines, caller ID, *69, etc., trying to get in touch with a woman can be like a campaign of technological warfare. Here are some ground rules for dealing with the new technology:

• Always assume the girl has caller ID. If you don’t have a private number, before calling use *67 to block your number from her. If you don’t, and you try 5 times to reach her throughout the day, she may think you’re a phone-stalking psycho.
  
• If you happen to get a machine when you call, hang up and call back immediately. The rationale behind this is that often the woman will be standing right next to the machine ready to screen the call, and by hanging up she gets frustrated because she wanted to know who it was. As she starts to walk away the phone rings again, and to ease the frustration she’ll go to answer the phone this time.
  
• If the above strategy doesn’t work, call back a little later and leave a message like this: "Hey X, this is Mike. I just had the most AMAZING idea... you have to hear this! Call me, 555-1234”.
  
  This should get her to call back. She will of course ask what the idea was. Say "I figured out how I could get you to call me back. It totally worked too... Hey, you won't believe what happened to me yesterday... [story]"

Setting up the Meet Close

The objective when first calling her is to get to know her a little better and set up a face-to-face meeting. Don't talk too long—10-20 minutes will do. Try to get her to see you as soon as possible—it cuts down on her flaking. You should always be “semi-ready” to go out when you first-call a woman; that way if she says she’s not busy at the moment you’re good to go.

The plan is to 

1. Call her 
2. Make her laugh or engage her interest within the first 5 seconds 
3. Use the Attract-Qualify-Rapport-Amplify parts of the plan to raise her interest level again (15 minutes MAXIMUM—do NOT linger on the phone for hours)
4. Meet close
5. Hang up

When calling, don’t get into the dead end of trying to remind her who you are over and over until she gets it. Instead, state who you are and where you met and plow right into your phone game. “Hey, it’s Mike from Club Exit. Check this out, the coolest thing happened to me after I left there…” That way, even if she doesn’t remember she’ll be so into you that she’ll probably show up for the meet regardless. If you get stuck trying to remind her, she’ll just keep saying “No, I don’t remember” and hang up. If you barrel through it whether she remembers or not, then she’ll get into you and you’ll bypass that. Also, trying to remind her of who you are takes you out of the powerful frame that YOU are the prize. When you act in that frame you assume that there’s no way she could possibly forget YOU and that she remembers you perfectly. 

Run your game on her and run a meet close before ending the call.

Executing the Meet Close

Get her involved and invested in the outcome. Planning what you're going to do when you get together increases her involvement and increases the likelihood she won’t flake. Here are some examples of how to bridge to the topic of a meeting:

“So when are you taking me out? No McDonalds either...I wanna be WINED and DINED! And no cheap night at the movies!” She’ll laugh at this, then you turn around and say “Never mind, I wouldn’t feel comfortable with you spending so much money on me. Instead we’ll do __________. Sound good?”

“We should get together this week. Come with me to ________ on Xday.”

“Well I’m busy on Xday, Xday, and Xday afternoon, how about Xday in the early evening? Just say YES.” (show you’re busy and your time is valuable. If she already has plans that night) “You already have plans? CANCEL THEM! I’M more interesting!” She probably won’t, but just suggesting that she cancel them for YOU sets you up as the prize.

"I'm busy tomorrow, but if you tempt me with a good enough offer, I might make time for you the next night".

The Tag-Along Meet Close:

The tag-along meet close is used when her buying temperature is low (for whatever reason, the phone can be tough) and you want to communicate that you’re not needy: “I’m going to X with my friends tomorrow, and you’re welcome to come along if you want.”

Meet Close Potential Problems

If she rejects your offer, she may just be busy with plans she can’t break that night. Offer a maximum of ONE more night that you have available. After that if she says she’s busy, and doesn’t suggest another night herself (a sign that yes, she actually does want to meet with you), say:

“It’s ok, I hear ya. (PAUSE) What I DON’T hear is a counteroffer. Make me one! (Doesn’t:) You know, it doesn’t sound like you’re serious. That’s too bad, because you seemed cool…anyway I gotta go make plans, I’ll talk to you later.” Then hang up. Say it without sounding hurt or angry; just state it matter-of-factly.

It’s important not to rule out women who turn down your meet requests. Never burn your bridges unless she’s a total loser or bitch! Maybe she’s just having a bad day or she’s tired, maybe she’s dating another guy, maybe she’s on the rebound, etc. What you need to do is put the women who turned down your offer on a call-list. Every two weeks go down the call-list and call all the no-girls, repeating the process again and trying to meet-close. This is good for two reasons: First, it shows persistence, in a COOL way. You’re not calling her everyday, hanging on and trying desperately to get her to see you. Second, it’ll make her think that—imagine this—you actually LIKE her and you’re not just out for a quick lay! A lot of girls are worried about this, and they may keep a guy at a distance until they’re confident he’s not just out to love ‘em and leave ‘em. You really have nothing to lose by trying her number again in a couple weeks. The worst she can do when you call her up is be unenthusiastic and tell you she’s too busy to talk.

When you successfully do a meet close, you’re not home free yet; you may be tested by the woman. Here are two examples you might see at meet close: 

• “Where are you taking me?” She assumes you’re “taking her” somewhere—she’s trying to assert the dating frame. Your response, C&F: “I’m not “taking you” anywhere, we’re meeting for coffee, remember?”
  
• “Call me on Xday to confirm” This is a woman’s “escape hatch”—don’t let her get away with it! Basically it means “Ok, I’ll go out with you that night…UNLESS someone makes me a better offer”. Your response, C&F: “Confirm? Confirmation is for CATHOLICS. Coffee at X on Xday it is!” From here move right into flake prevention strategy.

FLAKE PREVENTION: “Now, let me ask you something: On a scale of 1 to 10, what are the chances that you’re not going to show up on Xday?” 

If she answers with anything more than “0”, say:

“You know what, never mind. If there’s even a CHANCE that you’re not going to show up, I’m not even gonna go. One of my pet peeves is people who cancel at the last minute or stand me up. I don’t do that to people because it’s a matter of keeping my word…because if there’s one thing that could end our friendship before it starts, it’s flakiness.”

Let that sink in, then continue:

“I’ll tell you what, the place is close to my house, so just meet me at my place, ring the bell, and I’ll come out and we’ll go. That way if you’re late or stand me up at least I’ll be at home instead of sitting in the place like a dork.”

Another method of flake prevention:

When setting up the meet close, ALWAYS say something like "I'll call you if my plans change, but otherwise I'll see you at X." This takes the LEAD, letting her know that YOU will be the one to change the plans, NOT HER.

Ending the call

When everything’s settled, say C&F: "Great! It'll be cool for us to hang out together. Being seen with me will be good for your reputation."

When getting ready to hang up, say “It’s gonna be fun to get to know you better. You’d make a cool friend.” (friendship frame surprises and disarms her and puts less pressure on you at the actual meeting). This doesn’t mean she’ll slot you in the “friends” category though, far from it. It makes you look non-needy.

5. Sex Closing

"Women want to get laid as much as men do. They just want it about 15 minutes later than we do. So hold out for 20 and she'll be chasing you for 5." –from the film, The Tao of Steve

It’s important to qualify a woman’s sexual interest and openness to sex as well as her conditions and time line for doing it. When you know where she stands you can act accordingly and not stab in the dark thinking she needs more touching, another meeting, or perhaps more sweet words whispered in her ear.

It’s important to have a strong frame and lead her using it. Don't think too much about making a move, just do it. Let your instincts take over. Don't look for signs. If she's sticking around with you or kissing you, THAT is the sign. If she's in bed with you, THAT is the sign. Once you see the above signs, do whatever it takes to have consensual sex with her. If she is not going to have sex that night, she’ll let you know firmly. Otherwise, seal the deal. But you'll never know unless you try. 

Try to use ANTICIPATION to great effect. Get her hot and bothered, then pull back. Do something else to get her hot and bothered, then pull back. And just when you know that she's really enjoying what's going on (and it can be at any stage, kissing, etc.), just STOP. Then whisper in her ear "You want more, don't you?” (yes) “You're going to have to say PLEASE." Or if she says “Make love to me/fuck me”, you respond “I’m not finished kissing you yet”.

Resistance to sex

If you ever FORCE a woman into a sexual act against her will, you deserve to be thrown in jail and have the same thing done to you!!! When a woman gives you a firm NO, it means NO.

That being said, there’s a difference between a firm NO and “no…..I can’t……no……Make love to me!!!” This sort of weak, token resistance to sex is very common. Before we can understand it (known from here on as Last-Minute Resistance/LMR), we have to understand where it comes from.

To begin with, what is a SLUT? To a Christian lady I know, Britney Spears is a slut because she shows her cleavage. To another guy I know, ALL women are sluts (except the one he’s going to marry, of course). One woman I know (who’s had over 40 sexual partners so far and commonly has sex on first dates) considers a woman who cheats during a committed relationship a slut. And another woman I know thinks it’s “slutty” to have 3 or more sexual partners on rotation at one time (2 is okay though).

My point is that unless you adhere strictly to religious teachings, what constitutes deviant sexual behavior is a matter of opinion. The word “slut” is subjective to the point that it’s meaningless. Yet every woman fears being seen as a slut! With no defining point, it’s impossible for a woman to set defining standards for her sexual behavior, and she’s always in doubt about it. This end result impacts our ability to sex close a woman.

Not only does a woman not want to be seen as being a slut, she doesn’t want to see HERSELF as a slut either. Even when she’s alone with you, you’re bound to come against some resistance (though in some cases, TOKEN resistance) to sex, no matter how horny you’ve made her or how badly she might want you. The way to overcome that resistance is to give her an EXCUSE to have sex with you, something she can blame it on to take some “blame” off of herself. This is why a woman will have 2 beers and have sex with a stranger, then blame the beers for clouding her judgment. Or why a woman will backwards-rationalize a one-night stand, saying “Oh it was my cousin’s friend’s best friend’s bachelorette party so it was a special occasion”. In other words, she finds something to excuse her behavior.

One VERY powerful technique to disarm resistance is to paint it as YOUR responsibility. Her anti-slut defenses could be disarmed by you claiming that it’s YOUR fault, and that she’s just helplessly giving in to the moment—and that it’s totally normal. Her excuse is—YOU!

Another technique is to actually AGREE to the resistance, de-escalate, then re-escalate again later when she’s more comfortable. For example, she moans “Noooo don’t touch me there…” and you say “You’re right, I shouldn’t be touching you there” and you take your hand away. Then you do other things to get her even more hot and bothered, and then you go to touch her there again, finding no resistance this time.

Another way to get through the resistance is to illustrate that it’s all in her head. Here’s PlayboyLA’s red light/green light routine for getting through resistance:

PB: You’re a study of opposites

HB: What do you mean? I just don’t know you well enough yet…

PB: Of course – but two people never really know each other – and besides, you and I both know that there’s part of you that wants one thing, and another part which wants another.

HB: (Shrugs) Whatever PB, maybe so

PB: There’s this, which clearly wants one thing (taking her hand – which had been jerking me off), there is this which wants the same thing (pointing to her tummy – meaning her emotions), and of course this, which clearly wants the same thing (touching her pussy, which was warm and wet)…but, then there’s the almighty THIS (pointing to her head)…which wants the opposite. (She giggles here)

(So, I’m pacing her reality and showing a real understanding of her inner world).

HB: (giggling) Yes, you’re right…

PB: You’re like a little car in stop and go traffic – so frustrating for the better drivers out there. It’s “Red light” (point to head) “green light” (point to hand) – “red light” (point to head) “green light” (point to tummy) – “red light” (point last time at head) “green light” (point to crotch, stay there…)

This had her giggling, really at herself, so I re-escalate this time and each time she stops me I say “red light” and flick her head (slightly painful) while smiling, and each time she allows me to proceed I say “aaah, thank you for the green light”…this pacing and leading routine accompanied with reward/punish has worked a number of times for me.

One resistance tactic a woman is likely to use on you is the Time Concept: “I’ve only known you 2 days/1 month/whatever”. For this you can run Style’s “No Expectations” routine:

“I don’t go into an interaction with expectations in mind… I dated a girl and we took 3 months to have sex. Another girl it was the first night, because it was immediately passionate. I liked both girls equally, because both just felt natural and didn’t try to veer things in one way or another.”

If resistance is persistent and seemingly unbreakable, the important thing is to show real indifference to having sex with her. Women tend to validate their appeal through their sexual desirability, and when a woman knows a man wants to do her she’s fulfilled that need and knows she “has him”. But when you at least act indifferent to actually sleeping with her, the only way she can validate her desirability is to sleep with you.

“Fine, you and I aren’t having sex. We’re going to be friends". MEAN IT. Don’t kiss her, cuddle with her. Just be cool like you would be with a guy friend. In this case if she has a strong need for validation she may backtrack and start pursuing YOU. Especially when you had this fun, flirty dynamic before her refusal—she’ll want the good times back.

“I'm not 16 anymore, and I don't like girls who are flaky and who don't have the guts to go after what they want.”.

"You know, you can't always get what you want. You should be familiar with the territory" 

“Sex is both parties abandoning themselves to the moment. You can’t abandon yourself in the moment if you still feel you need to protect yourself. That’s why TRUST is important. Do you trust me?”

“It’s good not to expect something to happen, and just let everything go the way it goes.” Steal this frame before she does, if you need to.

At first these might look like mind games, and they are! But they’re not malicious. What you’re trying to do is NOT “trick” her into having sex with you; at that point she already WANTS to! What you’re trying to do is break down a couple decades’ worth of social programming that’s preventing her from seeking her own pleasure (and you’ll just happen to get some out of the deal too). 

One thing: It’s important that once she’s comfortable, try not to change the location if at all possible. If she’s now comfortable in your car, your room, etc., try to seal the deal there. A change in location could make her lose the state she was in, the ASD could kick right back in, and you could lose control.

Other ways to get her comfortable

I hate to state the obvious, but unless you plan on fucking her in front of others, isolation is key. Get her somewhere secluded so that she doesn’t have to worry about people finding out.

After you’ve brought her to your place, go to the washroom. It gives her a chance to look at her surroundings, hear the music, look at the décor, etc. She’ll become more relaxed and comfortable in your environment.

Humourous/Suggestive Sex Closes ("Is he joking or serious?")

"My expert opinion is that you have the perfect body for a night of wild love making."

"I have two bottles of champagne at home. One to drink and one to pour all over your body..."

You’re at her place, and she apologizes for her place being so messy "Hey, I'm a GUY. I'm not looking at the stuff on the floor, I just want to add the stuff you're wearing to the mess..."

"I'd love to take you home and do things that the Lord forbids."

"Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?"

"Do you like having your neck bit? (Why) Because right now all I want to do is bite your neck."

"Personally I think between YOUR dirty mind and MY dirty mind, we’d make a WICKED team…"

"I really love smart women…I think they’re more fun, they’re sexier, they’re better in bed… A smart woman would never turn her back on a good thing… Unless it’s for a MASSAGE!"

"What are we gonna do? Well we can play the ALPHABET game! You don't know what that is? Keep it that way, it'll corrupt you." (Get her to beg before you explain) "Ok, the alphabet game is a game you play with a naked woman. You lay her on her back, spread her legs, and then draw the entire alphabet on her sex with your tongue."

"Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? You don't? Well in that case, do you wanna have lunch together?"

Asks question: "I'll tell you later in bed."

"I think I could fall madly in bed with you."

"It would be dangerous for us to get involved anyway. What if we really HIT IT OFF and get married and have kids? Then in a few years we could get divorced, and the kids would be caught in the middle! So I think it’s in the best interests of the children that we keep any relationship between us purely SEXUAL. THINK OF THE KIDS, (her name)! THINK OF THE KIDS!"

"I think it’s important for a girl like you to have someone keeping her “happy”. It’s tough, you know…CELIBACY IS A HANDS-ON JOB! I know it's not easy!"

“I’m MAD at you. Let’s get into a HUGE argument.” (Why??) “So we can have INCREDIBLE make-up sex after.” (heehee) “Actually, we don’t have to have an argument for that.”

OVERT Sex Closes

On a date, look right at her, and say, “You know at this point in the evening, I know there's some guys who would lean for­ward, look right at you and say, “I'd like to take you home right now, and fuck you like you've never ever had it before!” Now, IF she lights up, her pupils dilate, and she maybe even says, “YEAH!”, then you know what to do! If she looks put off or upset you say, “But I know YOU require a much more sensitive, and subtle approach from me.”

"I want to lay you down and kiss you from head to toe and back up again".

"I want to explore every inch of your body with my hands and lips. I'm intoxicated with just the thought of being with you, emotionally and physically. If I was alone with you right now, I'd just want to melt right into you..."

"I have some questions for you". (Go ahead) "How long has it been since you had an incredible massage? Since a man licked your neck and your whole body trembled? Since you felt a man's saliva on your clitoris?" (answer) "Come with me and we'll shorten that time considerably".

Other Guy objections (“But I’m already seeing someone”)

In cases where she’s already “seeing” (fucking) someone else, you can use standard boyfriend destroyers from the Find/Open section, or one of the following.

"Oh that’s too bad, I feel bad for you…" (Why?) "Cause while that guy’s reading the sports page, I’m reading a book on how to give a woman a a better orgasm…or Sex Games. But that’s okay, stay with what you’ve got…"

"Does he satisfy your needs all the time, or only when he senses YOU'RE BORED WITH HIM?"

After-Sex statements

"Thank you for sharing your body with me." (for emotional women, don't use this with a party girl or fuck friend)

"That was so good I think my neighbours need a cigarette".

"You made a good impression on me...Your claw-marks on my back!"

6. Ejecting

Ejecting comes from fighter pilot lingo, and means to escape from a crash and burn. Another term for ejecting is “Null Closing”, closing your interaction with the woman or set without achieving any real objective.

Don’t linger! End the interaction on a high note and eject if a sex close isn’t likely. This leaves a possibility for future interaction, whereas if you wear out your welcome the bored woman will eject you herself (not good). You also demonstrate that you’re not desperate and have other things to do with your life. Besides, you may have better luck with the next one! Here's an example ejection phrase suggested by Mystery for use in a club/bar situation: "The night is young... pleasure meeting you". If you strike out, say "It's been a real pleasure meeting you". Say it like you really mean it - in a friendly, respectful, yet empathic manner. This way you'll set yourself apart from all the losers who leave mumbling "bitches, they're all the same…" You'll remain cool, confident, a gentleman in good humor. And she'll feel crappy after realizing SHE just lost YOU! Or if she has simply ignored you, add "...didn't realize you were deaf"