James Bond Villain Routine
James Bond Villain Routine (paradiso_rush)
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Me: You're bad....
HB: blah blah
Me: Yeah, and check out your shoes too. You know who you remind me of?
HB: Who?
Me: You know, that chick in the James Bond movies. The one who has those
shoes... they bring her in when they want to assassinate someone, and she does
something and little spikes come out of her shoes and she KICKS the guy and he
gets poisoned to death.
HB: hahahahaha
Me: You know what we should do?
HB: What?
Me: We should run away together, and go to an island in the Caribbean, and
build a mansion there with a huge manmade lagoon.
HB: Oh?/Yeah!/blah
Me: Yeah, and then underneath it we'll build a big ass laser gun, and then
we'll point it at x-country (sometimes they will go nooooo, I like x-country,
and you can go into a little sideline of figuring out which country you're
going to point the laser gun at. If they're foreign, and you know what country
THEY come from, you might try mentioning that place first, if you're being a
bit of a jerk) and we'll tell them we will laser them unless they give us ONE
BILLION DOLLARS (you can go all Dr Evil here if you like, I don't usually).
HB: Yeah!
Me: But you know what we need, though? We need an army. So, I'll have to
recruit an army of guys in uniforms, with big futuristic guns, but you know, I
also want another army.
HB: Yeah?
Me: Yeah, and YOU will be in charge of recruiting them. I want an army of,
like, HOT girls in bikinis who are, like, total martial arts experts. And when
things are good, they can just lounge around the pool in bikins being hot, but
when there's bad shit going down they can take down all the invading special
forces guys by leaping on them and snapping their necks with their thighs...
YEAH!
HB: hahahah
---
Like I say, this is field tested and it WORKS. The reason I like it is it's a
funny and fanciful future adventure projection, it's interactive, and it
subcommunicates good things about your comfort with beautiful women. There's
also something that appeals to me about telling the HB to find you lots of hot
women :)
------------------------------------------
Me: You're bad....
HB: blah blah
Me: Yeah, and check out your shoes too. You know who you remind me of?
HB: Who?
Me: You know, that chick in the James Bond movies. The one who has those
shoes... they bring her in when they want to assassinate someone, and she does
something and little spikes come out of her shoes and she KICKS the guy and he
gets poisoned to death.
HB: hahahahaha
Me: You know what we should do?
HB: What?
Me: We should run away together, and go to an island in the Caribbean, and
build a mansion there with a huge manmade lagoon.
HB: Oh?/Yeah!/blah
Me: Yeah, and then underneath it we'll build a big ass laser gun, and then
we'll point it at x-country (sometimes they will go nooooo, I like x-country,
and you can go into a little sideline of figuring out which country you're
going to point the laser gun at. If they're foreign, and you know what country
THEY come from, you might try mentioning that place first, if you're being a
bit of a jerk) and we'll tell them we will laser them unless they give us ONE
BILLION DOLLARS (you can go all Dr Evil here if you like, I don't usually).
HB: Yeah!
Me: But you know what we need, though? We need an army. So, I'll have to
recruit an army of guys in uniforms, with big futuristic guns, but you know, I
also want another army.
HB: Yeah?
Me: Yeah, and YOU will be in charge of recruiting them. I want an army of,
like, HOT girls in bikinis who are, like, total martial arts experts. And when
things are good, they can just lounge around the pool in bikins being hot, but
when there's bad shit going down they can take down all the invading special
forces guys by leaping on them and snapping their necks with their thighs...
YEAH!
HB: hahahah
---
Like I say, this is field tested and it WORKS. The reason I like it is it's a
funny and fanciful future adventure projection, it's interactive, and it
subcommunicates good things about your comfort with beautiful women. There's
also something that appeals to me about telling the HB to find you lots of hot
women :)
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